O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
