is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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