he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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