i think my mom watched the whole time
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
