how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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