She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
