After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
