thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
