She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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