I want to have your abortion
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
