he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
