grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
