my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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