Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
someone threw a dead crab at me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
