Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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