I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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