I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
