Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
