Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
