Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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