i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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