Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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