i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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