it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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