And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
