Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
