I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
