Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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