I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
