I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
