I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
