Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize