At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
