it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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