Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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