hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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