I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
