The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
