he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
