Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
