I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
