You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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