either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
