I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
