don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
