Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
