Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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