Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
