She is in my trunk
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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