i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
