lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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