I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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