I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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