Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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