he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize