I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
